triedunture | Recipe: warm caramel apple thingy

Guys, the craziest thing happened to me today. I was schlepping home from the subway after a trip to Trader Joe's, and I was kind of bummed that I didn't have the coin for some fresh fruit and veg, when all of a sudden I see these white hippies in the park with a sign that says FREE FRUITS AND VEGETABLES.

They're the Food Not Bombs folks, and they were giving away some food before it spoiled.

Guys. I know exactly what to do with apples that are about to spoil.

It's not healthy. But it's so damn good.

Sure you wanna know?

OK. Peel and chop your apples. Drizzle with lemon juice if you don't want them turning brown, but in ten seconds, it ain't gonna make a damn bit of difference.

Drop a chunk, like 1/4 of a stick, of butter into a saucepan with a bunch of brown sugar. Toss in the apples and throw it on medium heat. The apples will cook down, the brown sugar will melt into the butter, and you'll be left with a bubbling mess of awesome.

Daaaaamn, girl, you be rocking them caramelized sugars. This is what it looks like when it's done cooking, about ten or so minutes.

If you wanna be totally naughty, and I know you do, you serve that shit with some vanilla Haagan-Daas.

Please excuse the chipped bowl. It's our only bowl. I am not even joking.

So that's what I did with my free fruit. I took healthy, god-given apples and turned them into a devilish concoction sure to clog arteries and possibly make you infertile. But hell. Who needs kids when you got this?

Peace. NOM NOM NOM.