Recipe: Yankee Salad

[triedunture]

Today was a bust, productivity-wise, but that doesn't mean your summer has to be! This is a recipe that my grandma always made, and she probably got it out of a 1934 issue of Good Housekeeping. It's simple and healthy, refreshing and nummy.

Sure, it sounds kind of weird, but let's face it: none of us is exactly a prize, hmm?

First things first. Assemble all the shit you need.



No, your eyes do not deceive you. Those things are:

a pound of cottage cheese (STAY WITH ME HERE)
a tub of Cool Whip or Cool Whip Knock Off Brand
a packet of orange Jell-o or Jell-o Knock Off Brand
a can of pineapple chunks
a can of mandarin oranges

Directions. Don't blink:

1. Toss the whole bloody thing together in a giant bowl. Make sure to drain the fruit first.
2. Stir it up, bitches.
3. NOM AWAY.

Don't turn up your nose at the cottage cheese. I can't stand it either, but mixed with all the creamy fruity goodness, it's transformed into something edible and actually tasty. Variations include using only half a tub of Cool Whip if you want it less fluffy and more fruity, using sugar-free Jell-o powder instead of normal, and THAT'S IT. Any other changes will have Grandma rolling in her grave.




Give it a shot, you ungrateful bastards.