A Fruitful Conversation

[triedunture]

Here is a truncated conversation I had today with Tony, my BFF, via G-chat:

Me: I am really digging this Captain America/Iron Man fandom. It's totally full of manly sexiness. I just don't get why Tony Stark is always the girl, though. He's a control freak, right? He should be on top.

BFF: I'm sorry, but I agree with the masses on this one. Stark is metro. Cap is a total bear.

Me: Are you serious!? Stark is not metro. Sure, he has nice shoes. And good clothes. And a well-maintained goatee...

BFF: Also, you're operating on the assumption that bottoms are somehow LESS manly. Iron Man is a total top...from the bottom.

Me: No, no, nooooo. You are wrong and I refuse to discuss it further. Let's just play Google Chicken for awhile, where we dare each other to Google awful stuff to see if it exists until one of us backs down.

(About five hours go by)

BFF: "I was a compulsive, serial masturbator, but it was the best thing I could have been. I utilized that organ and rode it for everything it was worth."
- Robert Downey Jr.

Me: Wait. What?

BFF: It's true.

Me: I...I think I'm developing a new crush here.

BFF: You should.

Me: But hold on. Is Robert Downey Jr. attractive? I don't really know.

BFF: Are you for real? Like, I know you're sick, but...are you serious? He's gorgeous.

Me: Well, I guess he's okay. He's just not my kind of dude.

BFF and me at the same time: Not a lady?

Me: Yeah. Exactly. He's all hairy in manly parts. I don't think that's my sort of thing.

BFF: There's 5 minutes left before you leave the office. I'm sending you links to Robert Downey Jr. pictures until you realize how hot he is.

(pictures from IMDB sent)

Me: Okay, he's pretty cool, I guess.

BFF: Wait, I got one more. But it's...well, you should look at it when you get home.

Me: Nah, send it to me now. It's just me and Manuel the janitor left here. Que tu miras, senora? NADA, MANUEL.

BFF: Okay. But don't say I didn't warn you.

Me: ...oh my. So Iron Man is a bottom.

BFF: I knew you'd see my point of view eventually.

Me: :D

Comments

[pinglederry.livejournal.com]

=O HOLY HOT HOTCAKES OF HOTNESS ON A POGO STICK, BATMAN. *picks jaw up off of floor*

OKAY THAT DIDN'T QUITE MAKE SENSE, BUT I TRUST THE GENERAL GIST IS CONVEYED. HUMMINA.

[triedunture.livejournal.com]

No, he is rather hummina-hummina.

And he has rather girly legs. While still being manly? It's a tightrope, but his legs walk it.

[pinglederry.livejournal.com]

I am of the firm opinion that, since men lack the genetic fat layer that smooths out a woman's curves (which is why they tend to be so angular), unless they're really chubby/way too skinny, guys tend to have really great legs. Put almost any reasonably fit guy in tights and a pair of high heels (as long as they've shaved first and are wearing a piece) and wham, legs. The rest of their body may look ridiculous, and they may walk all awkwardly in the heels and be embarrassed (which is a shame), but from the waist down, they look gorgeous. For example, in the pic, RDJ has his toes pointed, which emphasizes his calves and creates a great leg shape.

[triedunture.livejournal.com]

Good call re: dude legs. You're right, though I couldn't put my finger on it at first, that there was a very nice, fluid look to his legs. I never knew I liked legs.

*House: ;.;*

Sorry, man. *pats his hand*

[pinglederry.livejournal.com]

Hugh also has lovely legs, although without shaving + tights, they can look kinda nobby/gangly (look at the SNL sketch where he's in drag for an example of great HL legs). Tim Curry reminds me of RDJ in some ways (something about their facial expressions and face shape/body build), and just look how great he looks in fishnet tights and high heels. :P

[tasha-elizabeth.livejournal.com]

Oh my. I think I need to go watch Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang again.

[lady529.livejournal.com]

Bless. "Qué tu miras, señora? Nada, Manuel!.." SO much love. Also, not half bad pic either.

The Lady 529

[triedunture.livejournal.com]

If that's not half bad, I'd love to see the fully, not-a-bit bad.

Like, seriously. I think I would. Oh, new man!crush! I have no time for you!

[lady529.livejournal.com]

He's REALLY not my type. He's one of those men I can see looks good, but he still doesn't flick any of my switches.

Now if anyone's got a pic like that of, say, 25 year old Stephen Fry..

The Lady 529

[triedunture.livejournal.com]

D'awww, with his floppy little bit of hair and his little pipe! He WAS (is) a cutie. (http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:w3PruFaPCGV3IM:http://www.footlights.org/images/h1981.jpg)

That's the thing with me and my man!crushes. They're supposed to be sweet little nerdy boys. That's why the sudden head-rearing of a muscley butch-man is so shocking to me. But hey, I guess variety is good for you?

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

That's the thing with me and my man!crushes. They're supposed to be sweet little nerdy boys.

Mine too - indeed, I seem to have a "type" in the sense of nerdy, blue-eyed English chappies. (Maybe that's why I love the movie "Withnail and I" so - you get two of those for the price of one.)

[lady529.livejournal.com]

The muscliest (is that even a word..? ..it is now) man I like is probably.. Yeh, can't even think of one now. My head is filled with images of Fry at the moment. Oh, and one or two of Hugh Laurie as well, 'cause let's face it, he is most lovely.

..that floppy bit of hair he's sort of still got, you know..

The Lady 529

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

"Qué tu miras, señora? Nada, Manuel!.." SO much love.

What I'd give to see or hear that on Psychic Distance or Tango Juliet Delta... LOL

[triedunture.livejournal.com]

We should just do an entire strip in Spanish. No one would get our jokes; they'd all involve idiomatic puns. (Donde esta tu ojo? Necessito pagar mi billeta de apartamento. *rim shot*) Well, I guess a good percentage of the population would get our jokes. Just no one who reads our strip.