Um, wut? House drabble.
Oct. 26th, 2008 11:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
trieduntureI was downloading something fun and exciting this evening when my Toshiba Betsy threw up the dreaded "C drive critically low on space" message. In the mad dash to delete all my temp files, dump all my stupid unused programs, and clear out my old copies of work, I found this.
I guess I was going somewhere with it and then said fuck it. It was in a file labeled "unfinished bizness." Enjoy.
“Hey, wake up.” The hard rubber tip of House’s cane jabbed at the center of Wilson’s chest.
Wilson woke like anyone would: he gasped, flailed, squinted in the dark room at the figure towering above him, and flopped back onto the pillows with a groan.
“House, what the hell are you doing here?” he asked, panting for breath. “You nearly gave me a heart attack.”
House was already bustling around the small hotel room, collecting Wilson’s wallet, key card and a pair of shoes. “Got to move, come on,” he said.
“Move? Where to?” Wilson cried. “It’s…” He grabbed the digital clock on the bedside table. “One forty in the morning! We have work tomorrow!”
“We have work now,” House insisted. “Cuddy called. She said there’s been some kind of fire in one of the campus buildings. The hospital’s full of minor injuries and smoke inhalation cases, and she wants more warm bodies there.”
“She didn’t call me,” Wilson said, the suspicion evident in his voice.
House sighed. “Your phone is dead.” He even picked it up from Wilson’s nightstand and held it up, showing his friend the black screen. “So come on, hop to it. If I have to drag myself to work in the middle of the night, I’m not going alone.”
“Yeah. Okay.” Wilson sat up and scratched at his bare chest.
After a series of impatient cane-taps, House barked, “Sometime tonight?”
Wilson jumped at the loud command; he’d never been able to wake up quickly. He always needed plenty of time to get up and go through his routine.
“I’m going, I’m going,” he groused. He clutched the thin white sheets that pooled in his lap, his forehead creased in thought. “Just…turn around.”
“Why?”
“Just turn—”
“I’m not here on a panty raid, Wilson! I don’t care what kind of boxers you’re wearing.”
Wilson sighed, scrubbing at his face with one hand. “I’m not wearing boxers.”
House rolled his eyes. “Pajamas, then.”
“No, House. I sleep without clothes. When I can,” Wilson finally said. With a wave of his hand, he grunted, “Now just turn around so I can get to the bathroom.”
“Oh for God’s sake, we’re doctors. I think I’ve seen one or two penises and I’m not blind yet.”
“We can sit here all night and argue about whether or not my penis will blind you,” Wilson said slowly with false patience, “or you can turn around for three seconds.”
House huffed. “Fine.” He spun and faced the wall.
Wilson carefully lifted the duvet from his lap. “Promise?” he said, even though he knew it sounded childish.
“Just go!” House flapped his hand over his shoulder.
With a groan of effort, Wilson lifted himself out of bed and strode naked towards the bathroom door. Two steps, then three, then…
Of course House turned around.
“Hey!” Wilson protested, cupping his hands over himself protectively. “You bastard! You promised.”
“You fell for it,” House pointed out before breaking out in a surprised grin. “You shave?”
“I need to get ready,” Wilson stammered, darting into the bathroom and slamming the door shut. He lifted the toilet seat to pee, but House pressed his face right into the small crack of the door.
“Does it make you more aerodynamic or something?” he chortled into the bathroom.
“Don’t we have lives to save?” Wilson shouted back. He flushed with a sort of finality.
“Yeah, as soon as you’re done primping.” House laughed long and loud. “How much time do you need to cut down the ol’ Redwood Forrest there?”
“I’m just brushing my teeth,” Wilson grumbled around a mouthful of toothpaste. “Hand me some clothes, will you?”
“No way,” House said. “Let me see it again.”
Wilson spat in the sink. “Absolutely not!”
“Just a peek,” House wheedled. “Come on, why would you do something like that?” he asked with true amazement.
Wilson cracked the door open an inch and glared at House through the opening. “It feels…nice, okay?”
“Nice for you…?” House asked with waggling eyebrows.
Wilson scowled, not amused, and held out his hand. “Pants?”
“Or are you shaving at someone else’s request?” House continued, his eyes gleaming.
“Pants! Shirt! Now!”
“Any problem with ingrown hairs?”
With the last shred of his patience used up, Wilson stormed out of the bathroom, still nude, to search for his clothes himself. “Did you ride your bike here, or are we taking your car?” he deflected.
House frowned as the bare, pink skin was hidden beneath boxers, then slacks. “You drive,” he ordered, tossing Wilson the keys. “Less wind resistance.”
fin?
I guess I was going somewhere with it and then said fuck it. It was in a file labeled "unfinished bizness." Enjoy.
“Hey, wake up.” The hard rubber tip of House’s cane jabbed at the center of Wilson’s chest.
Wilson woke like anyone would: he gasped, flailed, squinted in the dark room at the figure towering above him, and flopped back onto the pillows with a groan.
“House, what the hell are you doing here?” he asked, panting for breath. “You nearly gave me a heart attack.”
House was already bustling around the small hotel room, collecting Wilson’s wallet, key card and a pair of shoes. “Got to move, come on,” he said.
“Move? Where to?” Wilson cried. “It’s…” He grabbed the digital clock on the bedside table. “One forty in the morning! We have work tomorrow!”
“We have work now,” House insisted. “Cuddy called. She said there’s been some kind of fire in one of the campus buildings. The hospital’s full of minor injuries and smoke inhalation cases, and she wants more warm bodies there.”
“She didn’t call me,” Wilson said, the suspicion evident in his voice.
House sighed. “Your phone is dead.” He even picked it up from Wilson’s nightstand and held it up, showing his friend the black screen. “So come on, hop to it. If I have to drag myself to work in the middle of the night, I’m not going alone.”
“Yeah. Okay.” Wilson sat up and scratched at his bare chest.
After a series of impatient cane-taps, House barked, “Sometime tonight?”
Wilson jumped at the loud command; he’d never been able to wake up quickly. He always needed plenty of time to get up and go through his routine.
“I’m going, I’m going,” he groused. He clutched the thin white sheets that pooled in his lap, his forehead creased in thought. “Just…turn around.”
“Why?”
“Just turn—”
“I’m not here on a panty raid, Wilson! I don’t care what kind of boxers you’re wearing.”
Wilson sighed, scrubbing at his face with one hand. “I’m not wearing boxers.”
House rolled his eyes. “Pajamas, then.”
“No, House. I sleep without clothes. When I can,” Wilson finally said. With a wave of his hand, he grunted, “Now just turn around so I can get to the bathroom.”
“Oh for God’s sake, we’re doctors. I think I’ve seen one or two penises and I’m not blind yet.”
“We can sit here all night and argue about whether or not my penis will blind you,” Wilson said slowly with false patience, “or you can turn around for three seconds.”
House huffed. “Fine.” He spun and faced the wall.
Wilson carefully lifted the duvet from his lap. “Promise?” he said, even though he knew it sounded childish.
“Just go!” House flapped his hand over his shoulder.
With a groan of effort, Wilson lifted himself out of bed and strode naked towards the bathroom door. Two steps, then three, then…
Of course House turned around.
“Hey!” Wilson protested, cupping his hands over himself protectively. “You bastard! You promised.”
“You fell for it,” House pointed out before breaking out in a surprised grin. “You shave?”
“I need to get ready,” Wilson stammered, darting into the bathroom and slamming the door shut. He lifted the toilet seat to pee, but House pressed his face right into the small crack of the door.
“Does it make you more aerodynamic or something?” he chortled into the bathroom.
“Don’t we have lives to save?” Wilson shouted back. He flushed with a sort of finality.
“Yeah, as soon as you’re done primping.” House laughed long and loud. “How much time do you need to cut down the ol’ Redwood Forrest there?”
“I’m just brushing my teeth,” Wilson grumbled around a mouthful of toothpaste. “Hand me some clothes, will you?”
“No way,” House said. “Let me see it again.”
Wilson spat in the sink. “Absolutely not!”
“Just a peek,” House wheedled. “Come on, why would you do something like that?” he asked with true amazement.
Wilson cracked the door open an inch and glared at House through the opening. “It feels…nice, okay?”
“Nice for you…?” House asked with waggling eyebrows.
Wilson scowled, not amused, and held out his hand. “Pants?”
“Or are you shaving at someone else’s request?” House continued, his eyes gleaming.
“Pants! Shirt! Now!”
“Any problem with ingrown hairs?”
With the last shred of his patience used up, Wilson stormed out of the bathroom, still nude, to search for his clothes himself. “Did you ride your bike here, or are we taking your car?” he deflected.
House frowned as the bare, pink skin was hidden beneath boxers, then slacks. “You drive,” he ordered, tossing Wilson the keys. “Less wind resistance.”
fin?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2008-10-27 03:27 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-10-27 11:09 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-10-27 03:54 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-10-27 11:10 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-10-27 09:16 am (UTC)Lovely!!!!
(no subject)
Date: 2008-10-27 11:10 pm (UTC)Hey lookity - I has new icons!
Date: 2008-10-27 10:08 am (UTC)[Hover over for additional TMI.]
Edited at 2008-10-27 03:28 am (local) due to my utter fail with tags.
Re: Hey lookity - I has new icons!
Date: 2008-10-27 11:11 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-10-28 03:14 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-10-27 11:06 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-10-27 11:11 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-10-27 12:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-10-27 11:12 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-10-27 01:06 pm (UTC)And you have a file called unfinished bizness! I have something similar called Bits n'Pieces.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-10-27 11:12 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-10-27 01:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-10-27 05:58 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-10-28 03:10 pm (UTC)House is so 12, isn't he?
And trust Wilson to do something that random for a... special someone.
It does sound like some requested kink!fic, doesn't it? Manscaping doesn't turn up a lot in slash, but yours at least brings the lolz.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-08 07:03 pm (UTC)