Christmas Gifts: a pre-Thanksgiving guide

[triedunture]

Thing the first:

I don't want stuff for Christmas! And I'm being serious this time. I have this awful feeling that if I were to tell y'all, even in jest, that the thing I desired most of all was a signed copy of Stephen Fry's America before it was properly available in US stores, someone would find a way. And that's just...silly to think about. Because I don't need any more books! I don't need any more stuff. I just need *deep breath* the following $$-less things:

1. Icons. I have a wonderful paid account. Why am I not stuffing it full of more icons that I need?

2. Fics. I wanna see Jeeves & Wooster fics and House fics and Kingdom fics and maybe some Marvel fics.

3. Just your smiling selves. :D

So that's it, really. I'm all set.


NOW HERE'S T'S HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE FOR DIFFICULT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE.

1. Dad

My dad has no hobbies, sports interests, or computer. WTF do I get him.

THIS IS WHAT I GET HIM. THE ULTIMATE IN BACON-FLAVORED GOODNESS. Bacon-flavored products are good because they're kitschy enough to say "oh, how funny is this gift?" while still muttering "maybe if we knew each other better, gifts like this wouldn't have to happen."

At the same time, now I want to try out the Bacon Salt! :(


2. Brother

He's a geology major. Plus we both grew up reading Sherlock Holmes stories. Thank you, Etsy, for once again delivering.

3. Mom

OK, is it horrible and sexist that I kind of want to give her the Tupperware that folds up? It looks so cool. Does it work good? Does anyone know?

4. Everyone Else

Everyone else is getting a motherfucking book! I don't care if they don't like reading. There are tons of books stacked up in my office and they need to find a home. So, sorry second cousins, cousins, brother's roommate, and assorted aunts! BOOKS. DEAL WITH IT.

MERRY GODDAMN CHRISTMAS.

Comments

[octopireggie.livejournal.com]

how about Joostery comic-fics, do those count? xD (Porny?)

[triedunture.livejournal.com]

Oh? I dunno. Lemme check my Big Book of Things That are Awesome.

*flipflipflip*

Yes. Those count. :D