Moar Expert Writing Advice: Confidence, you haz it.

[triedunture]

Time for a very important episode of...

T's Giant Expert Writing Advice for Writers
and other people who wanna write good too!


When I first started thinking about one of these babbly essay-type thingies on how to write confidently, I resolved to not let this degrade into a pep talk. I don't think I should tell y'all that everything you work on is going to be awesome, and that's it's going to be tons of fun, and it will all easily fall into place, because, SHIT GURL, when has that been true about anything in life? Writing is hard. *whine* It's all complicated and stuff. And not everyone is good at it. So I guess this is kind of a downer so far. Sorry 'bout that.

But I do believe that the number one (#1) thing that kills fic ideas today is a lack of confidence. Who knows how many fantastic, entertaining, wonderful stories have been lost because someone was too busy snivelling "Oh, I'm not good enough, no one's gonna like it, ohhhhh, Imma wuss."

Jesus. This is like writerly boot camp. I guess my form of motivation comes in from Mocking Mock-mocktown? Again, sorry.

But you've got to keep a sense of humor about this kind of thing. Oh, hey, that can be lesson the first.

Lesson One: Laugh @ Yourself

Here's why you shouldn't take yourself so seriously in fic-writing: it's just a game, no one actually wins anything, and everyone sucks at first. ZOMG I sucked so hard for so long! I was Sucky MacSuckerstein (Jewish + Scottish, I guess?). But I can look back on that and laugh, and when I make a mistake these days, I think to myself, well, at least it wasn't as sucky as it could have been.

OK, so how is laughing at yourself going to build confidence? It's a funny thing. Maybe it has something to do with psychological protection, like you're building up a little barrier, giving yourself a thicker skin so that when someone does offer you crit, you can say PFFFFT, is that all? Man, I could suck WAY harder than that. See? That's confidence.

Sort of.

Oh shit, this leads straight into the big lesson! The lesson that everyone needs to carve into their foreheads right the fuck now!

Lesson Two: You Can Totes Fake It

This might sound like more of my backwards, counter-intuitive, "let's all be zen about this" bullshit. But I swear it's true. It's something my first writing professor told me, and it's one of the few things I remember from college, thanks to Miller High Life.

Confidence? Bravery? Courage? Guys. YOU CAN FAKE ALL OF THAT.

How the heck do you think I get away with so much crap? Fake it till ya make it.

It's really easy. Just approach whatever's bothering you, presumably in this case, your writing. You might be scared that it's not going to be any good, that you're going to pour all your energy into a project that won't go anywhere, or worse, that no one will like what you wrote and then you'll get pelted with rotten vegetables and no one will be your friend and you'll never get laid again ever.

Like, as an example.

FUCK IT. YOU'RE THE MAN. Just do some writerly swaggering. Take whatever little morsel of your writing that you like and say "Hey, this is awesome. I'm the man." Even if you don't believe anything you're writing is very good, just pretend! Come back and edit later when self-flagellation is needed. For the first draft, just keep telling yourself how great you are and how brave you're going to be when you share your story with everyone, and then you'll be showered with the petals of exotic orchids and women will want to sleep with you and children will ask for your autograph.

Again. Let's just use that as an example.

Because here's the thing about being brave: if you fake it and actually go through with it, it doesn't matter if you're scared inside or not. You fucking did it! YEAH. And that's all that really matters. You're not writing while hooked up to a heart monitor. No one need ever know that you're actually shaking in your boots while scribbling down your story. The point is, until you get that first draft down on paper, there's no hope for you. So do whatever it takes to convince yourself to just start.

Maybe writing is too intangible a thing for you to practice this on. Maybe it would be easier for you to start in real life. Next time someone has to go first in a classroom, or someone has to speak up in a meeting, or whatever, just go for it. Balls to the wall. Ride that high. Fake your confidence until it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and you can swagger off the crosstown bus, dip a hot babe for a smack on the lips, sit down at your computer and write the best fucking thing ever written!

Man, that's getting dangerously close to a pep talk. Let's rein it in.

Lesson Three: Get Someone to Tell You That You Suck

Do you sense a trend of going from downer to upper to downer again? Yeah, well, welcome to my world.

I totally believe in the power of a first reader or beta or just a general friend to offer you crit on your drafts. How is this going to build confidence? Because, guys, you somehow already convinced at least one person to waste their time reading your shit! And what's more, they're either nice enough or genuinely like your writing enough to work with you to improve it. That's so freaking special. Oh my god, group hug for all beta readers. They're like guardian angels with red pens.

And if your fake confidence from Lesson Two gets out of hand, a good beta will be able to reel you back to earth.

Now, every beta relationship is different, but when I beta I like to offer positive reinforcement alongside the crit. After all, I wouldn't bother beta'ing a fic that I didn't think was good enough to read in the first place, so there's got to be something that I like about it. I think this holds true for offering crit in comments; if you actually read the thing, then there's got to be something positive to say in addition to the bad. When people don't try to balance out their crit in this way, it smells of bad manners to me, but that's just a personal thing. Call it sour grapes, but when I get all-crit, all the time from someone, I just assume they're not worth listening to. (That doesn't mean I don't cry like a little girl, but then I go back to Lesson Two and pretend to be awesome some more.)

I guess what I'm saying is that criticism should be looked upon as a positive experience whenever possible, because it should help you improve and be even MORE awesome in the future. I know, it's difficult for you to get even MORE awesome than you already are, but somehow I think you'll manage. :3

Lesson Four: Your Confidence Workout

Sometimes the thing that can push you over the edge and get some writing done is a nice, confidence building schedule or routine. You can use a routine to get your writing done in a ritualistic sort of way, which I think inspires confidence via guilt. If you're scheduled to write between the hours of 8 and 10 or whatever, and you don't, then man you suck. But if you DO, oh man, you're so awesome. You stuck to your schedule! It doesn't matter if all you did was make ASCII pictures of cats, you kept your promise to yourself.

Of course, not all of us can keep a schedule, so maybe a ritual is better. A certain snack or a little cocktail before sitting down to write in a certain chair facing a certain window? It's nice. It's comforting. It's yours. And you know why it's yours? Because you're awesome.

And awesome people get shit done.

So make goals or keep twittering so people can bug you to write if you get distracted by Top Gear or lock your kids in the cupboard. Whatever helps you concentrate and feel RAWR.

Something I like to do when I feel out of ideas is read fics by my favorite authors. Re-reading the fics I love reminds me how clever some people can be and how great it feels to read something from them, and sometimes that's enough to remind me why I'm giving it a shot too. Your favorite authors shouldn't intimidate you. They should inform and inspire you. They're like Yoda's ghost in Jedi: they'd want you to do it for them.

*sage nod*

The Bottom Line

I'm not saying everyone should write. I'm not saying everyone can write.

I'm just saying that you won't know until you try, and you can't try until you think you can do it.

If you have a story in your brain or your heart or where ever it is that stories come from, then you're doing yourself a disservice by not letting it out. Yeah, it might suck. It might prove a fruitless exercise.

But you might turn out to be so incredibly awesome that everyone will go, "WHOA HOW DID YOU GET SO AWESOME?"

And then you'll be all like "I DUNNO I GUESS I JUST FOLLOWED SOME ADVICE FROM THIS FUCKNUT ON LJ."

And I'll be all like "HEY YOU BEST STEP OFF."

And you can be like "NAH IT'S COOL I WAS JUST MESSING WITH YOU LET'S GET A BEER."

And I will say sweet and then we'll hang.

Like, for instance.

I hope this helped you with your confidence problems! If it did, I will be so shocked I will have to upgrade my own personal Awesome Level from yellow to FUCK YEAH.

Comments

[clairefry.livejournal.com]

After reading your extremely helpful guides to writing, I don't know whether I should keep going with my silly story or run away fast! Hmmmm!

Cheers for passing on all your expert knowledge though! ;-) x

[triedunture.livejournal.com]

PERHAPS YOU HAVEN'T READ THIS BIT THOROUGHLY. IT MEANS YES GO ON WITH YOUR STORY LOL.

[clairefry.livejournal.com]

OKAY I THINK I GOT IT NOW! :D

[jane-hidell.livejournal.com]

I AM FAR TOO AWESOME TO EVER HAVE CONFIDENCE PROBLEMS BUT I LOVED EVERY WORD OF THIS A+

[triedunture.livejournal.com]

OH MAN IF ONLY YOU COULD SLICE OFF A CHUNK OF YOUR AWESOME TO SHARE WITH THOSE IN NEED

[lilallisun.livejournal.com]

The great thing about the "faking confidence" advice is that it works for all areas in life! For instance, when speaking in front of my entire class in French, I use this method. Who cares how intimidating an entire room full of native speakers is? I'M ME, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, AND I'M AWESOME!
And later they say "oh, your French is getting so much better!" and I maybe sort of laugh maniacally. Internally. Of course.

[triedunture.livejournal.com]

EXACTLY.

It seriously does work. And it makes you a better person in the long run that everyone wants to sleep with.

[(Anonymous)]

I've got to admit, you've encouraged me!

I've been reading fic since the tender age of twelve, but I really haven't put pen to paper in about that long. I like to think I'm a relatively adept and intelligent reader by now -- thanks, education! -- and this has made it intimidating for me to write a damn thing. I missed out on all those golden years of practice when I could have been writing happily, oblivious to my suckage! Now, if I write, my Reader Skillz will let me know exactly how bad I am.

But you know what? FUCK IT. Imma implement a writing schedule. Thanks for the mildly abusive motivational talk!

[triedunture.livejournal.com]

No problem, n00b! I hope you don't suck too bad!

(But seriously, you have a rich community of people on lj that are willing to lend support in so many ways. Don't be afraid to ask for help or feedback from whatever fandom you're in. Nine times out of ten, it will be a rewarding experience.)

[euclase.livejournal.com]

And awesome people get shit done.

What do you mean by confidence? I write in a mental vacuum a lot of the time, and sometimes it sucks. But sometimes it's necessary for survival, because you don't need people watching you all the time rooting for each spoonful when you eat your cereal. And I get shit done, but sometimes I don't feel very awesome about it. I just feel like I got shit done. But nobody has to know how I feel about it, do they? So "confidence" can be kind of a confusing thing to understand, maybe.

Sometimes you can feel good about stuff you did, and you think, "I want to keep going!" Sometimes, though, it's more about, "I'm not done yet. I'm just getting started." And maybe you'll be saying that your whole life, which is cool, but it might not be the same as confidence, even though it keeps you going.

Or might it be? Hmmmm. You have compelled me to think!

[triedunture.livejournal.com]

I AM HAPPY TO HAVE MADE YOU THINK. :3

Confidence is a misleading word, because I don't think anyone can be 100% totes confident in their own abilities. There will always be some niggling doubt, even if you're full of yourself (in fact, people who maintain their Totally Greatness with no hint of irony are often the most full of self-doubt). So I guess when I say "confidence" I really mean "motivation." Hey, whatever gets it done, right?

[mxdp.livejournal.com]

*takes notes* Aha, yes, yes, like that, 'K.
*applies to paper*
My prof is gonna go be all whoaaaayousuck. Scientific, I said! True facts, no bullshit, that's what I asked!
>:C
BUT I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR ROTTEN STUFF. 8C
I don't know what that was about,... sorry.

You know, you're giving LIFE LESSONS here, not writing. Mh, okay, mostly writing and drawing.

I laugh, I totally fake the shit I do, don't really need someone who tells me I suck as I'm that person myself, so I have someone who tells me I'm great...
leaves me n°4. It's hardest. BUT I WILL PERSIST. I CAN DO THIS. CAUSE AWESOME PEOPLE GET SHIT DONE.

Woo!

I CAN DO THIS FUCKING PAPER!

(yeah, someone's going insane.
Sorry.)

[muhsilisk.livejournal.com]

You know, you're giving LIFE LESSONS here, not writing.

I AGREE WITH THIS.

Btw, faking knowledge in papers is fun. I just did that, and I'm confident my own awesome thoughts will make up for the lack of secondary literature. HAH.

AND YOU CAN DO IT, TOO *_*

[triedunture.livejournal.com]

WHAT IS UP WITH EVERYONE WRITING PAPERS LATELY. IS IT MIDTERMS OR SOMETHING?

Anyway, good luck with those, I guess! Just keep faking your way through!

[chaoschick13.livejournal.com]

Ya helped my confidence, start upping the awesome levels.

[triedunture.livejournal.com]

I'm already moving the Awesome Meter from yellow to Badass.

[leakey-lover.livejournal.com]

What a nice head you have on your shoulders. I advise you to keep it.

Thanks.

[triedunture.livejournal.com]

If I were a zombie, this might be considered a threat to my non-life! :3

[cadeira.livejournal.com]

A gave the biggest sigh after reading this. I merely get frustrated when I don´t get anything done and that´s about all there is.
You wanna know how I feel... That scene in Peter´s Friends: Maggie tells Andrew that this guy writing self-help books has thrown himself off a building.

[triedunture.livejournal.com]

Ha! Yes, I know exactly what you mean. But at the risk of sounding peppy, GO. GET SHIT DONE. *cheerleads*

[hwshipper.livejournal.com]

Something I like to do when I feel out of ideas is read fics by my favorite authors. I DO THIS TOO. Especially the porn scenes, if I'm having trouble writing my own.

The balancing positive & negative feedback is a life lesson too! It works in life, in the office, wherever! I once got told it as 'the feedback sandwich' - if you've got a piece of negative feedback, sandwich it between two good points. People take it better that way. They really do.

Oh my god, group hug for all beta readers. They're like guardian angels with red pens. Big fat WORD to this too. I love all my betas to bits, and you know who that includes <3

[niektete.livejournal.com]

XD This made me laugh, in a good way. Hey, have you gotten stuff published/going to get stuff published? Or was that one of my other LJ flisters? :)

[triedunture.livejournal.com]

Oh no, it must be other people who are RL Writers. I've only gotten a few tiny short stories done up in lit mags. No big thang.

[gragerty.livejournal.com]

I´m exactly in the same situation as the anon above, with the addition that English isn´t my first language. But you have actually convinced me to believe that I CAN DO THIS (after I´ve found myself a native speaker as a beta, though). Thanks for the no-nonsense pep-talk!

And oh, I´m totally new to this not-being-an-anon-lurker, so I´d like to take this opportunity (and hope I don´t sound too creepy) to voice my gratitude for you sharing your writings with us, especially your kick-ass fics and your Experts Writing Advice. It has been very enjoyable to be a stalker around these parts ;).

[triedunture.livejournal.com]

My pleasure, recently sideline-sitter! I hope everything shakes out well for you.

[georgeodowd.livejournal.com]

Gah, thank you for posting that. Sometimes it helps to hear it (again and again and again and again) until it finally reaches into the inner depths and strikes a nerve. Maybe someday now I will stop being a douchebag and finish my fic(s).

[pipariperho.livejournal.com]

Gosh, I so should have put you sooner on my flist or whatsthatcalled, I can't believe I didn't read this earlier. Anyway, enjoyed it much and all that. Being insecure just sucks so now I'm gonna do some practising. Maybe in the end that has some good effects to my life, too. Big thanks with bow. *goes to sauna mumbling 'I'm awesome'*

[triedunture.livejournal.com]

Don't mumble! STATE PLAINLY. :D